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Thursday, January 7, 2010
A Good Day Letter
8:39 PM
Dear Good Day,
I have so many reasons to thank you! You have continually managed to make me smile! If I had a hat, I would tip it off to you!
I'm not sure if you are aware, but here are the things that you have done for me today, GD.
You brought me lots of return messages from people I care about. It been very good to reconnect with friends and family.
You got me motivated to work on my novel again. I read about 12 chapters and will probably read some more before the day is out. It's been so much fun to reacquaint myself with my characters and the story. I had no idea how much I missed it. I also came to the realization that I'm ready and excited for people to read it. When I'm finished reading it through this time, I think I'll start sending out manuscripts!
(You also made me feel like my writing doesn't suck as much as I thought it did.)
Anytime I was feeling a little bit iffy, you did something to make me laugh! Thanks. Laughter is the way to make me happy! Like when you made me smile when my pajama pants fell around my ankles in the kitchen. No one was around and I don't think anyone knew. I pulled the drawstrings tighter. Thanks for making me feel like I'm losing weight!
You allowed me a few moments to watch Friends. I will love you forever for this!
You let me eat spaghetti for breakfast. How awesome are you? Also! You didn't make me gag when I drank that gross yogurt stuff that I drink first thing in the morning. I think I actually enjoyed it a little today. Nice little bonus you've thrown in there!
You also made me feel VERY loved, which was about the best thing ever! I've realized that Heavenly Father has a plan for me, and I just need to smile and be patient.
Anyway, Good Day. My point is this: Thank you for the smiles and happiness!
Hope to see you again really soon!
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Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Messaging Rampage
9:02 PM
I came to the realization today that I have about 450 facebook friends. And I realized that while I have this great tool with which to communicate with them, I rarely use it.
Today I went through my massive lists of friends with the intent of messaging those people that I care about. There were a lot more than I really expected.
I went through, skimming the surface of names and left them quick and honest messages.
I finished the night with a total of 72 people messaged.
The plan is to go back through tomorrow and say "Hi!" to a few more!
Monday, January 4, 2010
Dreams
4:58 PM
Warning: Very long (and slightly disturbing post.)
Dream -
My house was a three story cube, with a large square tower rising out of the middle of the roof and another ten stories into the sky.
Now, it wasn't technically my house, as I was visiting; but my family lived inside. There was even a me. (Though, she did not look, sound or act like me. She was simply me in relation to my family.)
Let me break down the layout of this crazy house for you. The basement was really a bomb shelter. Locked doors, metal walls, food storage, etc. The next two floors were surrounded by a wrap around porch, and wrap around balcony. There were ladders that led to the third floor of the cube, the walls of which were made completely of windows. The tower was also filled with windows. Each floor of the tower was it's own individual room, the stairs spiraling up in one corner. Like the ladders to the balcony, there were ladders on three sides of the tower, in case of an emergency.
Okay, now that the boring part of explaining the premise is through, I can actually explain this dream.
The family and I (save grouchy me-that's-not-really-me) went to an outdoor movie that is taking place in the park a few blocks from the house. About five minutes into this film, I look up into the sky where an F-16 is flying over head, shortly followed by a helicopter. The jet is losing altitude quickly and I realize that it's wing is on fire.
"It's going down!" I yell over the roar, and everyone watching the movie looks up with shocked and terrified faces as the jet zooms over our heads and crashes in another part of the small town.
My gaze goes back to the helicopter. It's spinning out of control and is heading directly for the outdoor theater. Screams and chaos ensue as everyone runs for cover, trying to get out of the way of the quickly descending mass of burning metal.
"To the house! Quickly!" Yell my parents over the confusion. The three of us (I have no idea where the other members of my family are at this time) run back to the strange house as quickly as we can.
Somewhere a few blocks away another something crashes and the ground shakes as we run. As we approach the house, we realize that we've lost my dad. We climb the ladder to the balcony. The me that's not really me is standing there shooting at people in military uniforms.
"What are you doing?! You can't shoot the military!" I yell at her!
"Those aren't human! They came from the planes!" She shouts back as she continues firing! I turn around. My mother is gone. It starts to pour. "Quickly! Come inside!" Other-Kate screams as another plane hits the ground somewhere else in town. "Shut the curtains!"
I do as she says. Apparently these 'unhumans' can't get by curtains. We start heading up into the tower, closing all of the curtains as we go. We reach Other-Kate's room on the sixth story of the tower, and we move around the room to close the curtains. My brother-in-law shows up at the top of the stairs, an unclosed window behind him. A human-shaped non-human creature appears behind him in the window. We shout to him to move, but it's too late. The creature pulls him through the window.
We wait for more to follow. But I suppose the capture of J keeps them busy for the time being. Other-Kate collapses on her bed and cries. I sit beside her, and we mourn in each others arms, accepting the hopelessness of the situation. We wait for our demise, but nothing happens. No doom comes.
We sit there on the bed until the rain stops and light starts to come over the horizon.
"We have to finish closing the curtains, and then head downstairs to the bomb shelter." We stand and the scene cuts to outside.
There is light glistening on the rain drenched and destroyed streets. People slowly come out in twos and threes and join in front of the house. They make groups around the three ladders reaching to the top of the tower. It then zooms in on the face of one of these people as they lick the side of the ladder. It's covered in blood! Like in a movie, the shot pans up to show the bodies of my family hanging from these ladders.
The unhumans start to climb with unhuman speed, tossing the bodies out of the way and delighting in the taste of the blood that clings to the ladder.
The scene cuts back to me and me, as we move to the base of the stairs, about to move up to close the curtains on the final floor. We are now on the ninth floor of the tower. A thudding comes from above us and we look up the winding stairwell. There are a dozen pale human faces staring down at us, the blood upon their demonic smiles glistening in the light of the sunrise coming through the uncovered windows.
I open my eyes, I take a deep breath. I'm awake. I contemplate going back to sleep to see how this plays out. But the outcome seemed way to bleak, and I didn't want me to die once, let alone twice.
My brain worries me. (Especially the fact that now I am regretting waking myself up. It would have been interesting to see how it finished.)
Dream -
My house was a three story cube, with a large square tower rising out of the middle of the roof and another ten stories into the sky.
Now, it wasn't technically my house, as I was visiting; but my family lived inside. There was even a me. (Though, she did not look, sound or act like me. She was simply me in relation to my family.)
Let me break down the layout of this crazy house for you. The basement was really a bomb shelter. Locked doors, metal walls, food storage, etc. The next two floors were surrounded by a wrap around porch, and wrap around balcony. There were ladders that led to the third floor of the cube, the walls of which were made completely of windows. The tower was also filled with windows. Each floor of the tower was it's own individual room, the stairs spiraling up in one corner. Like the ladders to the balcony, there were ladders on three sides of the tower, in case of an emergency.
Okay, now that the boring part of explaining the premise is through, I can actually explain this dream.
The family and I (save grouchy me-that's-not-really-me) went to an outdoor movie that is taking place in the park a few blocks from the house. About five minutes into this film, I look up into the sky where an F-16 is flying over head, shortly followed by a helicopter. The jet is losing altitude quickly and I realize that it's wing is on fire.
"It's going down!" I yell over the roar, and everyone watching the movie looks up with shocked and terrified faces as the jet zooms over our heads and crashes in another part of the small town.
My gaze goes back to the helicopter. It's spinning out of control and is heading directly for the outdoor theater. Screams and chaos ensue as everyone runs for cover, trying to get out of the way of the quickly descending mass of burning metal.
"To the house! Quickly!" Yell my parents over the confusion. The three of us (I have no idea where the other members of my family are at this time) run back to the strange house as quickly as we can.
Somewhere a few blocks away another something crashes and the ground shakes as we run. As we approach the house, we realize that we've lost my dad. We climb the ladder to the balcony. The me that's not really me is standing there shooting at people in military uniforms.
"What are you doing?! You can't shoot the military!" I yell at her!
"Those aren't human! They came from the planes!" She shouts back as she continues firing! I turn around. My mother is gone. It starts to pour. "Quickly! Come inside!" Other-Kate screams as another plane hits the ground somewhere else in town. "Shut the curtains!"
I do as she says. Apparently these 'unhumans' can't get by curtains. We start heading up into the tower, closing all of the curtains as we go. We reach Other-Kate's room on the sixth story of the tower, and we move around the room to close the curtains. My brother-in-law shows up at the top of the stairs, an unclosed window behind him. A human-shaped non-human creature appears behind him in the window. We shout to him to move, but it's too late. The creature pulls him through the window.
We wait for more to follow. But I suppose the capture of J keeps them busy for the time being. Other-Kate collapses on her bed and cries. I sit beside her, and we mourn in each others arms, accepting the hopelessness of the situation. We wait for our demise, but nothing happens. No doom comes.
We sit there on the bed until the rain stops and light starts to come over the horizon.
"We have to finish closing the curtains, and then head downstairs to the bomb shelter." We stand and the scene cuts to outside.
There is light glistening on the rain drenched and destroyed streets. People slowly come out in twos and threes and join in front of the house. They make groups around the three ladders reaching to the top of the tower. It then zooms in on the face of one of these people as they lick the side of the ladder. It's covered in blood! Like in a movie, the shot pans up to show the bodies of my family hanging from these ladders.
The unhumans start to climb with unhuman speed, tossing the bodies out of the way and delighting in the taste of the blood that clings to the ladder.The scene cuts back to me and me, as we move to the base of the stairs, about to move up to close the curtains on the final floor. We are now on the ninth floor of the tower. A thudding comes from above us and we look up the winding stairwell. There are a dozen pale human faces staring down at us, the blood upon their demonic smiles glistening in the light of the sunrise coming through the uncovered windows.
I open my eyes, I take a deep breath. I'm awake. I contemplate going back to sleep to see how this plays out. But the outcome seemed way to bleak, and I didn't want me to die once, let alone twice.
My brain worries me. (Especially the fact that now I am regretting waking myself up. It would have been interesting to see how it finished.)
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Happiness
7:49 PM
It was my turn to give a lesson in church. Whatever topic I wanted (with some inspiration of course.) But I was having trouble picking a topic.
One of my goals for 2010 was to "Strive to maintain a positive and upbeat attitude."
By the 2nd, my eyes were flooded over with tears, and my heart weighed down with sorrow.
How could I have failed in my goal already? It hadn't even been a full two days in the new year!
The thought occurred to me that there might be many other people who were feeling discouraged and I based my lesson on a talk by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf called "Happiness, Your Heritage."*
I feel very blessed by the things that I learned from preparing this lesson.
President Uchtdorf mentions that two ways to help yourself become happy are "creativity and compassion."
Creativity:
"...take unorganized matter into our hands and mold it into something of beauty." He says. You don't need to be artistic to be creative. Creation doesn't have to be a work of art, it doesn't need to be perfect. Creation can span from a garden, a song, or even something as simple as making someone smile. If you put forth the effort to create something you are proud of, you will find joy.
Compassion:
“Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.” J.M. Barrie, author of Peter Pan. It is impossible to feel sorry for yourself when you are helping someone less fortunate than yourself. Immerse yourself in the service of your fellowmen, and I guarantee that "your gloom [will be] gone, you'll feel light, the Spirit of the Lord [will be] upon you, and everything [will] seem illuminated.” Again, just the simple act of making someone smile can make your own heart so much lighter.
This lesson was just such a wonderful example in my life, and I wanted to share it with you. I believe these principles will help me in my quest to "maintain a positive and upbeat attitude." Maybe they will even help you!
*I realize that some of the people who might read this blog are not LDS (Mormon), but I thought the principles I've listed here could benefit anyone, no matter their faith.
One of my goals for 2010 was to "Strive to maintain a positive and upbeat attitude."
By the 2nd, my eyes were flooded over with tears, and my heart weighed down with sorrow.
How could I have failed in my goal already? It hadn't even been a full two days in the new year!
The thought occurred to me that there might be many other people who were feeling discouraged and I based my lesson on a talk by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf called "Happiness, Your Heritage."*
I feel very blessed by the things that I learned from preparing this lesson.
President Uchtdorf mentions that two ways to help yourself become happy are "creativity and compassion."
Creativity:
"...take unorganized matter into our hands and mold it into something of beauty." He says. You don't need to be artistic to be creative. Creation doesn't have to be a work of art, it doesn't need to be perfect. Creation can span from a garden, a song, or even something as simple as making someone smile. If you put forth the effort to create something you are proud of, you will find joy.
Compassion:
“Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.” J.M. Barrie, author of Peter Pan. It is impossible to feel sorry for yourself when you are helping someone less fortunate than yourself. Immerse yourself in the service of your fellowmen, and I guarantee that "your gloom [will be] gone, you'll feel light, the Spirit of the Lord [will be] upon you, and everything [will] seem illuminated.” Again, just the simple act of making someone smile can make your own heart so much lighter.
This lesson was just such a wonderful example in my life, and I wanted to share it with you. I believe these principles will help me in my quest to "maintain a positive and upbeat attitude." Maybe they will even help you!
*I realize that some of the people who might read this blog are not LDS (Mormon), but I thought the principles I've listed here could benefit anyone, no matter their faith.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Boredom
8:55 PM
My nephew visited my family's house today. Something set him off and he started to cry. After a few moments of unintelligible 
whimpering and complaining, I caught the words "I'm just so bored!" as they spilled out of his mouth. I didn't know what to tell the kid. The truth is, I've been feeling the exact same way all day.
I can't say that I was bored to tears like he was; but I've certainly felt as if my brain might wither away from inactivity.
It's not that I haven't tried to find something productive to do. But it's simply one of those days.
I'm caught up to date on all of my blog reading.
I've watched all recent subscription videos on YouTube.
I've run out of Photoshop ideas for the time being.
I do have a video to edit. It's coming along, but I can only do it in short spurts. To be fair, that's how it starts with all of my extensive videos. Once I'm about halfway through I'll be able to just sit down and finish. But it'll be about four more sit-down-and-work-for-fifteen-minutes-before-taking-a-break moments until I get to that point.
I played sudoku with my mom for a while today. It held my attention for about an hour or so before I became aware that I was failing miserably due to my lack of focus.
I think I've finally come to the conclusion that today is just one of those days. Even if I find something to do, the fact is that it simply won't hold my attention for very long.
Why is this? Because I'm distracted. And I'm bored because those few engrossing thoughts are trying to take up residence in my mind and won't let me drown them out with pointless (but sometimes entertaining) activities.
Well, I have a lesson to prepare for church tomorrow...I should get on that. I hope I don't get too bored. Wish me luck!
whimpering and complaining, I caught the words "I'm just so bored!" as they spilled out of his mouth. I didn't know what to tell the kid. The truth is, I've been feeling the exact same way all day. I can't say that I was bored to tears like he was; but I've certainly felt as if my brain might wither away from inactivity.
It's not that I haven't tried to find something productive to do. But it's simply one of those days.
I'm caught up to date on all of my blog reading.
I've watched all recent subscription videos on YouTube.
I've run out of Photoshop ideas for the time being.
I do have a video to edit. It's coming along, but I can only do it in short spurts. To be fair, that's how it starts with all of my extensive videos. Once I'm about halfway through I'll be able to just sit down and finish. But it'll be about four more sit-down-and-work-for-fifteen-minutes-before-taking-a-break moments until I get to that point.
I played sudoku with my mom for a while today. It held my attention for about an hour or so before I became aware that I was failing miserably due to my lack of focus.
I think I've finally come to the conclusion that today is just one of those days. Even if I find something to do, the fact is that it simply won't hold my attention for very long.
Why is this? Because I'm distracted. And I'm bored because those few engrossing thoughts are trying to take up residence in my mind and won't let me drown them out with pointless (but sometimes entertaining) activities.
Well, I have a lesson to prepare for church tomorrow...I should get on that. I hope I don't get too bored. Wish me luck!
Friday, January 1, 2010
2010!
11:43 PM
It's a new year! A new decade! I'm sitting here contemplating that in another ten year's time I'll be 30 years old. Wow. That seems so close, but seeing as I've only been alive for two decades so far, pretty sure that a decade will still take a while. (Let's hope.)
Here are some things I hope to happen in the next ten years:
There are many more I'm sure, but we'll leave it at that since I have quite a bit to list yet.
Goals for the year 2010:
A few things I'm looking forward to:
It's going to be a great year. I can feel it!
(Update from last post: I did not get a New Year's Eve kiss. Sadness, right? But it was a great night nonetheless. I think a random kiss might have just made things awkward. Maybe next year.)
Here are some things I hope to happen in the next ten years:
- Get married and start a family.
- Get my book published.
- Travel.
There are many more I'm sure, but we'll leave it at that since I have quite a bit to list yet.
Goals for the year 2010:
- Continue to lose weight.
- Do extensive revisions on my novel.
- Strive for a positive and upbeat attitude.
- Make more videos than I did in 2009.
- Read. A Lot!
- Strengthen existing friendships, and cultivate new ones.
- And most importantly, do all that I can to strengthen my relationship with my Heavenly Father.
A few things I'm looking forward to:
- NaNoWriMo 2010
- Assistant Directing the spring musical at the Jr. High.
- Getting a few church things under way.
- Being part of the cast of the community show.
- My 21st birthday! (Since I've turned 18, I've dreaded my birthdays. I'm excited for this one.)
It's going to be a great year. I can feel it!
(Update from last post: I did not get a New Year's Eve kiss. Sadness, right? But it was a great night nonetheless. I think a random kiss might have just made things awkward. Maybe next year.)
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