Showing posts with label Disturbing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Disturbing. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Irrational
So I'm sure you've all heard the phrase "Spiders are more afraid of you than you are of them" as told by parents who hope that their children will not grow up to be arachnophobes like themselves. But somewhere along the line, a spider dangles from a web right in our faces, and we FREAK out because the thing has FAR too many legs. So spiders are more afraid of us? I know this NOT to be true.
Last summer, in the wee hours of the morning before going to bed, I decided to 'tidy' up my room a bit. I lifted an object that needed putting away from my floor, when a very large spider scurried over my fingertips, and under a napkin that was strewn on my floor. I squealed and grabbed a shoe, pounding the napkin to a pulp! I then flipped the shredded paper with a pen, and there it was. A spider laying in the fetal position, legs in the air. My napkin was in tatters, so I didn't have anything to pick it up and throw it away with, so I left it there until further notice.
I went about cleaning up my room. And because I'm paranoid, I'd continuously peek over to were the spider carcass lay. Still there. All is well. But on my fifth glance. Wait, what?! Where? Where is it?! Ew! Get of the floor, get off the floor!!
A few hours later, I finally decided that I should sleep, justifying to myself that a severely mangled spider was nothing to worry about. He'd probably crawled off somewhere to die, right? So I went to bed without a worry. Yet the next morning I woke and noticed this small insistant itch on the top of my right foot. I had a spider bite! Are you kidding me? That spider had it in for me. He waited in the shadows until I was asleep and he could sink his teeth into me. Low blow spider, getting a girl while she's sleeping.
Over the course of the next two months, the spiders were out to get me. I'd see nearly five a day, most of the time in my room. I came to the conclusion that I had killed these spider's mother and they wanted revenge. The only thing is...they were all different species of spider. That's when I realized: I had killed the Angelina Jolie of Spiders. She had an overabundance of children and they were as diverse as could be.
I hate spiders.
But spiders are generally detestable. People don't judge you for hating spiders, because most everyone you meet hates them with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns, just as you do.
People judge you a bit when you tell them you are afraid of dirigibles. You know, those large blimp like things? Zeppelins, airships, whatever you want to call them. They used to fascinate me, but somewhere in my life I developed an irrational fear of the things.
*Shudders* I think on some level I've always been a little terrified by them. When I was little, there was this cheesy anime movie 'Kiki's Delivery Service.' I LOVED that movie. But there is a dirigible crash in that movie, and the giant floating thing above the city always gave me chills. It's just kind of escalated from there.
I'm very glad we live in an age where these things don't fly around anymore. However, they seem to be a popular trend in movies lately. Tonight was Institute and after our lesson we watch the movie 'UP!' Adorable movie. I have no idea how it ends. Why is that? Because the villain flies around in a dirigible! (Very fitting. He was the most terrifying villain I've seen because of his choice of aircraft.) I tried not to make a big deal out of it, I would simply not watch the screen. Wow, the looks I was getting from people. I don't know WHY my mind is repulsed by the blasted things, it just is! What happened to the concept of not judging people? "Judge not lest ye be judged!" C'mon people! We're at institute! At least pretend you understand that principle of the gospel. I left the room and didn't finish the movie.
It's an irrational fear. I don't understand it. If I did, I would try to explain. I actually quite like this strange quirk in myself. I find it quite funny! However when you are trying to flirt and look adorable, people staring at you like you are a mad woman with a big ol' zit on your forehead doesn't make you feel too flirty.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Look Alike?
It's been a trend on Facebook lately to change your profile picture to a picture of a celebrity that someone has said you look like. I've thought about it a few times, but something like this felt like it needed a bit of explanation. More explanation that the little caption below the picture could give. So a blog post it must be.
Recently I have been getting a lot of comments from people telling me that I look like Kirsten Dunst. I just don't see it.
However, once in high school, a friend told me that I looked like Chucky. "Like from Rugrats?" "No! Like the killer doll!" The sad thing is, she was completely serious.
I don't know if it was the blue eyes or the mischievous grin that sometimes resides on my face that made her think this. But I see some distinct differences. He still has his baby teeth. I lost all of mine by fourth grade. He's a boy. I haven't ever been one of those...except that one night, but it was just a costume, I swear! Oh! And how could I forget? He has an abundance of jagged gashes all over his face which I am sure I didn't have that day in the cafeteria when she made me very self conscious of my horror factor.
So, though I don't see it, I'll let people tell me that I look like Kirsten Dunst.
I did a photoshop edit once, giving myself red hair. I called it Mary Jane red and ever since, I have wanted to dye it that color. That's the closest resemblance I've ever seen, but I really think it's just the hair.
I suppose I find that I look more like Mary Jane than I do Kirsten in general. Maybe it's the hair.
I don't complain that people think I look like her. It is definitely not the end of the world. There are much worse people I could be compared to (like Chucky for example) and she is a very pretty girl.
And who wouldn't want to shoot a scene where you get to kiss a hot guy in a mask, upside down, and in the rain. Yeah. I can stand to be Kirsten Dunst.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Dreams
Warning: Very long (and slightly disturbing post.)
Dream -
My house was a three story cube, with a large square tower rising out of the middle of the roof and another ten stories into the sky.
Now, it wasn't technically my house, as I was visiting; but my family lived inside. There was even a me. (Though, she did not look, sound or act like me. She was simply me in relation to my family.)
Let me break down the layout of this crazy house for you. The basement was really a bomb shelter. Locked doors, metal walls, food storage, etc. The next two floors were surrounded by a wrap around porch, and wrap around balcony. There were ladders that led to the third floor of the cube, the walls of which were made completely of windows. The tower was also filled with windows. Each floor of the tower was it's own individual room, the stairs spiraling up in one corner. Like the ladders to the balcony, there were ladders on three sides of the tower, in case of an emergency.
Okay, now that the boring part of explaining the premise is through, I can actually explain this dream.
The family and I (save grouchy me-that's-not-really-me) went to an outdoor movie that is taking place in the park a few blocks from the house. About five minutes into this film, I look up into the sky where an F-16 is flying over head, shortly followed by a helicopter. The jet is losing altitude quickly and I realize that it's wing is on fire.
"It's going down!" I yell over the roar, and everyone watching the movie looks up with shocked and terrified faces as the jet zooms over our heads and crashes in another part of the small town.
My gaze goes back to the helicopter. It's spinning out of control and is heading directly for the outdoor theater. Screams and chaos ensue as everyone runs for cover, trying to get out of the way of the quickly descending mass of burning metal.
"To the house! Quickly!" Yell my parents over the confusion. The three of us (I have no idea where the other members of my family are at this time) run back to the strange house as quickly as we can.
Somewhere a few blocks away another something crashes and the ground shakes as we run. As we approach the house, we realize that we've lost my dad. We climb the ladder to the balcony. The me that's not really me is standing there shooting at people in military uniforms.
"What are you doing?! You can't shoot the military!" I yell at her!
"Those aren't human! They came from the planes!" She shouts back as she continues firing! I turn around. My mother is gone. It starts to pour. "Quickly! Come inside!" Other-Kate screams as another plane hits the ground somewhere else in town. "Shut the curtains!"
I do as she says. Apparently these 'unhumans' can't get by curtains. We start heading up into the tower, closing all of the curtains as we go. We reach Other-Kate's room on the sixth story of the tower, and we move around the room to close the curtains. My brother-in-law shows up at the top of the stairs, an unclosed window behind him. A human-shaped non-human creature appears behind him in the window. We shout to him to move, but it's too late. The creature pulls him through the window.
We wait for more to follow. But I suppose the capture of J keeps them busy for the time being. Other-Kate collapses on her bed and cries. I sit beside her, and we mourn in each others arms, accepting the hopelessness of the situation. We wait for our demise, but nothing happens. No doom comes.
We sit there on the bed until the rain stops and light starts to come over the horizon.
"We have to finish closing the curtains, and then head downstairs to the bomb shelter." We stand and the scene cuts to outside.
There is light glistening on the rain drenched and destroyed streets. People slowly come out in twos and threes and join in front of the house. They make groups around the three ladders reaching to the top of the tower. It then zooms in on the face of one of these people as they lick the side of the ladder. It's covered in blood! Like in a movie, the shot pans up to show the bodies of my family hanging from these ladders.
The unhumans start to climb with unhuman speed, tossing the bodies out of the way and delighting in the taste of the blood that clings to the ladder.
The scene cuts back to me and me, as we move to the base of the stairs, about to move up to close the curtains on the final floor. We are now on the ninth floor of the tower. A thudding comes from above us and we look up the winding stairwell. There are a dozen pale human faces staring down at us, the blood upon their demonic smiles glistening in the light of the sunrise coming through the uncovered windows.
I open my eyes, I take a deep breath. I'm awake. I contemplate going back to sleep to see how this plays out. But the outcome seemed way to bleak, and I didn't want me to die once, let alone twice.
My brain worries me. (Especially the fact that now I am regretting waking myself up. It would have been interesting to see how it finished.)
Dream -
My house was a three story cube, with a large square tower rising out of the middle of the roof and another ten stories into the sky.
Now, it wasn't technically my house, as I was visiting; but my family lived inside. There was even a me. (Though, she did not look, sound or act like me. She was simply me in relation to my family.)
Let me break down the layout of this crazy house for you. The basement was really a bomb shelter. Locked doors, metal walls, food storage, etc. The next two floors were surrounded by a wrap around porch, and wrap around balcony. There were ladders that led to the third floor of the cube, the walls of which were made completely of windows. The tower was also filled with windows. Each floor of the tower was it's own individual room, the stairs spiraling up in one corner. Like the ladders to the balcony, there were ladders on three sides of the tower, in case of an emergency.
Okay, now that the boring part of explaining the premise is through, I can actually explain this dream.
The family and I (save grouchy me-that's-not-really-me) went to an outdoor movie that is taking place in the park a few blocks from the house. About five minutes into this film, I look up into the sky where an F-16 is flying over head, shortly followed by a helicopter. The jet is losing altitude quickly and I realize that it's wing is on fire.
"It's going down!" I yell over the roar, and everyone watching the movie looks up with shocked and terrified faces as the jet zooms over our heads and crashes in another part of the small town.
My gaze goes back to the helicopter. It's spinning out of control and is heading directly for the outdoor theater. Screams and chaos ensue as everyone runs for cover, trying to get out of the way of the quickly descending mass of burning metal.
"To the house! Quickly!" Yell my parents over the confusion. The three of us (I have no idea where the other members of my family are at this time) run back to the strange house as quickly as we can.
Somewhere a few blocks away another something crashes and the ground shakes as we run. As we approach the house, we realize that we've lost my dad. We climb the ladder to the balcony. The me that's not really me is standing there shooting at people in military uniforms.
"What are you doing?! You can't shoot the military!" I yell at her!
"Those aren't human! They came from the planes!" She shouts back as she continues firing! I turn around. My mother is gone. It starts to pour. "Quickly! Come inside!" Other-Kate screams as another plane hits the ground somewhere else in town. "Shut the curtains!"
I do as she says. Apparently these 'unhumans' can't get by curtains. We start heading up into the tower, closing all of the curtains as we go. We reach Other-Kate's room on the sixth story of the tower, and we move around the room to close the curtains. My brother-in-law shows up at the top of the stairs, an unclosed window behind him. A human-shaped non-human creature appears behind him in the window. We shout to him to move, but it's too late. The creature pulls him through the window.
We wait for more to follow. But I suppose the capture of J keeps them busy for the time being. Other-Kate collapses on her bed and cries. I sit beside her, and we mourn in each others arms, accepting the hopelessness of the situation. We wait for our demise, but nothing happens. No doom comes.
We sit there on the bed until the rain stops and light starts to come over the horizon.
"We have to finish closing the curtains, and then head downstairs to the bomb shelter." We stand and the scene cuts to outside.
There is light glistening on the rain drenched and destroyed streets. People slowly come out in twos and threes and join in front of the house. They make groups around the three ladders reaching to the top of the tower. It then zooms in on the face of one of these people as they lick the side of the ladder. It's covered in blood! Like in a movie, the shot pans up to show the bodies of my family hanging from these ladders.
The unhumans start to climb with unhuman speed, tossing the bodies out of the way and delighting in the taste of the blood that clings to the ladder.The scene cuts back to me and me, as we move to the base of the stairs, about to move up to close the curtains on the final floor. We are now on the ninth floor of the tower. A thudding comes from above us and we look up the winding stairwell. There are a dozen pale human faces staring down at us, the blood upon their demonic smiles glistening in the light of the sunrise coming through the uncovered windows.
I open my eyes, I take a deep breath. I'm awake. I contemplate going back to sleep to see how this plays out. But the outcome seemed way to bleak, and I didn't want me to die once, let alone twice.
My brain worries me. (Especially the fact that now I am regretting waking myself up. It would have been interesting to see how it finished.)
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