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Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Irrational

So I'm sure you've all heard the phrase "Spiders are more afraid of you than you are of them" as told by parents who hope that their children will not grow up to be arachnophobes like themselves. But somewhere along the line, a spider dangles from a web right in our faces, and we FREAK out because the thing has FAR too many legs. So spiders are more afraid of us? I know this NOT to be true.

 Last summer, in the wee hours of the morning before going to bed, I decided to 'tidy' up my room a bit. I lifted an object that needed putting away from my floor, when a very large spider scurried over my fingertips, and under a napkin that was strewn on my floor. I squealed and grabbed a shoe, pounding the napkin to a pulp! I then flipped the shredded paper with a pen, and there it was. A spider laying in the fetal position, legs in the air. My napkin was in tatters, so I didn't have anything to pick it up and throw it away with, so I left it there until further notice.

I went about cleaning up my room. And because I'm paranoid, I'd continuously peek over to were the spider carcass lay. Still there. All is well. But on my fifth glance. Wait, what?! Where? Where is it?! Ew! Get of the floor, get off the floor!!

A few hours later, I finally decided that I should sleep, justifying to myself that a severely mangled spider was nothing to worry about. He'd probably crawled off somewhere to die, right? So I went to bed without a worry. Yet the next morning I woke and noticed this small insistant itch on the top of my right foot. I had a spider bite! Are you kidding me? That spider had it in for me. He waited in the shadows until I was asleep and he could sink his teeth into me. Low blow spider, getting a girl while she's sleeping. 

Over the course of the next two months, the spiders were out to get me. I'd see nearly five a day, most of the time in my room. I came to the conclusion that I had killed these spider's mother and they wanted revenge. The only thing is...they were all different species of spider. That's when I realized: I had killed the Angelina Jolie of Spiders. She had an overabundance of children and they were as diverse as could be.

I hate spiders.

But spiders are generally detestable. People don't judge you for hating spiders, because most everyone you meet hates them with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns, just as you do.

People judge you a bit when you tell them you are afraid of dirigibles. You know, those large blimp like things? Zeppelins, airships, whatever you want to call them. They used to fascinate me, but somewhere in my life I developed an irrational fear of the things.

*Shudders* I think on some level I've always been a little terrified by them. When I was little, there was this cheesy anime movie 'Kiki's Delivery Service.' I LOVED that movie. But there is a dirigible crash in that movie, and the giant floating thing above the city always gave me chills. It's just kind of escalated from there.

I'm very glad we live in an age where these things don't fly around anymore. However, they seem to be a popular trend in movies lately. Tonight was Institute and after our lesson we watch the movie 'UP!' Adorable movie. I have no idea how it ends. Why is that? Because the villain flies around in a dirigible! (Very fitting. He was the most terrifying villain I've seen because of his choice of aircraft.) I tried not to make a big deal out of it, I would simply not watch the screen. Wow, the looks I was getting from people. I don't know WHY my mind is repulsed by the blasted things, it just is! What happened to the concept of not judging people? "Judge not lest ye be judged!" C'mon people! We're at institute! At least pretend you understand that principle of the gospel. I left the room and didn't finish the movie.

It's an irrational fear. I don't understand it. If I did, I would try to explain. I actually quite like this strange quirk in myself. I find it quite funny! However when you are trying to flirt and look adorable, people staring at you like you are a mad woman with a big ol' zit on your forehead doesn't make you feel too flirty.

So, if for any reason I ask to move from a restaurant booth (there was a picture of a dirigible hanging on the wall once) or change the channel quickly, or merely start screaming for no apparent reason...it's probably something to do with a gigantic, helium filled thing.

11 Thoughts:

Katie said...

kdasjglksag. I hate spiders.

megan said...

Hey Kate! I love having new followers! I'm excited to read yours too! :) As for the list, go for it! It's great when life is crazy and stressful. It puts everything into perspective and reminds you that everything will work out :)

Michelle said...

ugh I totally get what you mean. I tell myself that I am like 10,000 times bigger than it is, but there is just SOMETHING about them.

One summer these small, quick, JUMPING spiders kept coming into my room via my window. Their icky little pinchers would open and close as they watched me. I hate things that can jump!

I *kinda sorta* went ninja/crazy on them. Got way too into annhilating them. I felt like they were trying to outsmart me and were especially vicious, so I *had* to come at them full force right??

PS. thanks for the follow! I'm going to read some of your archives

Rach said...

Hahahahahaha, dirigibles?? That is completely awesome! Quirks like that are so much fun. Well, until people make fun of you for it, that is. But I still love it!

I'm completely terrified of donating blood, myself. Whenever someone comes around with a blood bank sign up sheet, I tense up with fear and try to run away before they guilt me into donating because I could save three whole lives with the O positive coursing through my veins! It really is completely irrational, I'm totally fine with blood and needles and all those things, haha.

I support you in your fear of dirigibles! I mean, how many people are actually scared of those things?? That is kind of awesome :)

Pia said...

I hate spiders as well, but not as much as I hate moths. Those things seriously freak me out! When I see one, all I can do is scream but the rest of my body is paralyzed. Someone once said that they are nothing else but dark butterflies, but those things still terrify me.

Oh, and my mother is scared of zeppelins as well. So you are not the only one.

Framed said...

Do you ever wonder why I have five cans of Raid on the laundry room shelf. I would never get close enough to a spider to actually stomp it to death.

So you've never seen the Indiana Jones movie with Sean Connery in it? Doesn't that have a zeppelin?

Punk said...

First, before I go any further, thanks for the follow.

Second, Dude, I am freeaking freaked out by spiders. I was fine before Arachnophobia, which EVERYONE in the world tells me is a comedy. All I know is that every spider in that movie was a killer and now in my head, every spider in the world is too.

Third, I completely laughed out loud that Kiki's Delivery Service gave you your irrational fear of dirigibles. That is Awesome. I say, be irrationally afraid all you like; it's not like you have to deal with them on a regular basis, do you? Besides, any fear that's derived from a Miyazaki movie is worth the hysterical paralysis. I'm surprised I'm not in a padded room after Princess Mononoke and all those wriggly... ugh... maggoty-looking... ugh, you know what, nevermind.

Following you now!

KG said...

This --->"I had killed the Angelina Jolie of Spiders. She had an overabundance of children and they were as diverse as could be." cracked me up!!

I am totally with you on the irrational fears! in fact, I have a blog post I've had in the works for a while now talking about my fear of whales. yes, whales. I live in Alaska and I hate whales. I can't even watch them on tv. ((shudder)) they give me the heebyjeebies!

I also get creeped out by anime movies. just sayin.

thank you for finding my blog, so that I, in turn, could find yours. absolutely love it!

KG said...

oh and I freakin hate spiders. luckily I rarely see a spider here in Nome. I knew this place was good for something. ;)

Reixe t'Vobi said...

...the Angelina Jolie of spiders? I shall never be able to look at her the same way again. (Not that I ever looked at her much.)

I also hate bugs. I do not like them on me.

indigenou said...

I don’t like spiders, but there’s something more eerie about rats! Spiders have a kinda strange connection with me, spot 3 or 4 spiders almost everyday lingering across my clothes n stuff! Maybe even I have killed a highly potent male spider someday and the countless offsprings are now in Avenge!