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Sunday, January 31, 2010

January: A Month in the Life of Kate

Before I unfortunately deleted my blog in December, it was tradition that at the end of each month, I would write a post about the happenings of my month. I didn't blog nearly as much as I do now, and it was my way of not feeling guilty about not posting regularly. But they served a purpose much more important than that. It was great to be able to read through a short post about my month if I had forgotten something down the road. They are the things about that old blog that I miss the most. So, I'm bringing them back. 

Most Memorable Moments:
  • 1st ~ Happy New Year! I spent the day filming a music video with one of my best friends. I like to direct, she likes to act (she actually got the part of Maria in West Side Story at Snow College this month! Congrats Nashelle!) so it's the perfect duo! I always love our filming days. They don't happen nearly enough.
  • 3rd ~ I gave the lesson in Relief Society. It went well, and it was something that I had needed to learn. Whether anyone else got anything from it...
  • 6th & 8th ~ I finished the last two books in the Chanters of Tremaris Trilogy. (Love these books!)
  • 9th ~ I had a movie night with my sister, Kristi. It had been a while since I'd seen her, and it was great to just sit down and watch a movie. Coraline is awesome! (I love Neil Gaiman! I've read the book about five times and I am currently reading The Graveyard Book written by him as well.)
  • 10th ~ Chuck is back! So happy! Those of you who don't watch Chuck, you are missing out.
  • 11th ~ Happy YouTube anniversary! It's been two whole years!
  • 16th ~ The Relief Society sisters got together for a getting to know you activity. At one point, I laughed so hard that I cried and my face contorted. It was not attractive, but it felt so good.
  • 17th ~ Linger Longer! Oh dear, such fun. 
  • 18th ~ I went to lunch with my good friend Toni. Cafe Rio = Win! (Though Bajio is better.) Later that night, I went to my grandmother's house to eat soup and spend time with my extended family. Potato soup in bread bowl. So tasty, but was the death of my diet. Also, thank you so much for the quilt Grandma! I love it! I skipped out of dinner a little early and went to Family Home Evening for the ward. Good fun! Good fun was made great when I was asked on a date!
  • 19th ~ I had a 'movie night' with one of the greatest girls I know, Brooke. Except we never got the movie and ended up chatting for five hours about boys.
  • 21st ~ My date with Pete! We went to Avatar! Very much liked the movie, not so sure about the date.
  • 22nd-29th ~ Life slowed down this week because I wasn't feeling great, physically or emotionally. (I was able to get in some awesome flirting time with the MBP boys, though.)
  • 30th ~ My dad took me to Provo to spend time with my cousins! It was so much fun and though I was only able to see them for seven hours and I was sad to leave, it was a great day and I'm glad we did it.
  • 31st ~ I slept. I slept a lot. I'm not quite sure how I did it. I went to bed around 1:30am and figured my body would wake itself up around 10; giving me plenty of time to get ready for church. I fell awake and checked the time. 2:30pm?! What?! Okay. No church today.
Happiest Moment: Arriving in Provo. 

Saddest Moment: "Katie, I have some bad news." Okay, so the moment got increasingly worse as the news was spilled, but we'll say the bad news was the saddest moment. My thoughts and prayers are with Mr. B, and those that have been devastated by the whole thing.

New Movies Watched:
  • Avatar - I'd been wanting to see it for a very long time. It didn't disappoint. It wasn't quite what I expected, but I really enjoyed it!
  • Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging - Based on the book "Angus, Thongs and Full-frontal Snogging." I read this book when I was in Jr. High and loved it! I didn't even know they had made it into a movie, and it was hilarious!
Books Read: 
  • The Waterless Sea by Kate Constable - So awesome! She is such an amazing storyteller. 
  • The Tenth Power by Kate Constable - Also awesome!
Favorite Food: Spinach Wraps! Avocado, a little bit of fat free ranch, turkey, cheddar, baby spinach and good to go!

Overall: It was a good month. There were a lot of confusing, flustering and depressing things thrown in and a lot of the time I had a hard time focusing on the good. But after writing this post I realize that there was an abundance of good things to be found. It was a good first step into 2010, but I'm not sad that we'll be moving into February... 

I just realized that February means Valentines Day. You (my readers) have two options. Shoot a good looking guy with Cupid's arrow and send him my way or shoot me with a cannon. Before doing either, make sure your aim is top notch!

Look Alike?

It's been a trend on Facebook lately to change your profile picture to a picture of a celebrity that someone has said you look like. I've thought about it a few times, but something like this felt like it needed a bit of explanation. More explanation that the little caption below the picture could give. So a blog post it must be.


Recently I have been getting a lot of comments from people telling me that I look like Kirsten Dunst. I just don't see it.

However, once in high school, a friend told me that I looked like Chucky. "Like from Rugrats?" "No! Like the killer doll!" The sad thing is, she was completely serious.

 

I don't know if it was the blue eyes or the mischievous grin that sometimes resides on my face that made her think this. But I see some distinct differences. He still has his baby teeth. I lost all of mine by fourth grade. He's a boy. I haven't ever been one of those...except that one night, but it was just a costume, I swear! Oh! And how could I forget? He has an abundance of jagged gashes all over his face which I am sure I didn't have that day in the cafeteria when she made me very self conscious of my horror factor.

So, though I don't see it, I'll let people tell me that I look like Kirsten Dunst. 

I did a photoshop edit once, giving myself red hair. I called it Mary Jane red and ever since, I have wanted to dye it that color. That's the closest resemblance I've ever seen, but I really think it's just the hair.


I suppose I find that I look more like Mary Jane than I do Kirsten in general. Maybe it's the hair.

 

 I don't complain that people think I look like her. It is definitely not the end of the world. There are much worse people I could be compared to (like Chucky for example) and she is a very pretty girl.


And who wouldn't want to shoot a scene where you get to kiss a hot guy in a mask, upside down, and in the rain. Yeah. I can stand to be Kirsten Dunst.
Saturday, January 30, 2010

Provo!

Earlier this week I was talking to a cousin of mine. She's the only one I have that is my own age, and we are the best of friends. But ever since she moved to Provo to go to university, I rarely see her. The times I do are short; just a hug, a hi-how-you-doin' and then gone.

We'd both been feeling a little down and so I asked my dad if we could make a spur of the moment trip to Provo. Because he is such a wonderful dad (and also has family in the area he would like to visit) he agreed. 

I had so much fun driving the six hours with him. He's always been a great traveling companion. Not only is he great conversation, but when I don't feel like talking and instead want to belt out to musical soundtracks; he is very understanding and willingly allows me to sing my heart out. 

My dad insisted on taking my two cousins and I to lunch once we arrived. I love him so much! Bajio it is! (We have a Cafe Rio in my home town, which is great. But it is not nearly as fabulous as Bajio.) 

Daddie-O dropped us off at their apartment after lunch and went off to do his own thing, leaving us girls to do ours. After an hour or so of catching up, we moved into the living room and had ourselves a random dance party. Pictures were taken. Embarrassment is sure to follow. I picked the coolest ones. 


It's been so long since I randomly danced with these two girls. It was hilarious fun, not to mention a great work out. 


The girls took me to a new addition to the Provo area. The Cocoa Bean. 


OMGG! (Oh my goodness gracious!) It is a cupcake bakery/hot chocolate and non-coffee drinks cafe. And holy cow is it delicious! Tip from me: The Raspberry Chocolate Cheesecake cupcake is TO DIE for! The Blueberry Lemon cupcake is also fabulous!


We also watched the movie "Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging" with one of their roommates. I had read the books when I was in Jr. High and loved them. I had forgotten how funny I found them. I might have to dig them up and reread them. Hilarity!


My dad showed up around six and we headed home. 


It was a short, but fun filled day. It was so great just to spend the time with my beautiful cousins and my amazing father. I love you all! I feel so blessed to have you in my life!

Friday, January 29, 2010

Oh boy(s)...

I've been thinking about all of my past relationships. Some of them are pretty laughable. Enjoy yourselves in my failed relationships.

Justin (age five): A boy that lived across the street. His two older sisters forced us to get married in my back yard on my trampoline. The marriage didn't last for more than a few hours, but we remained really good friends.

Brogan (age six): A boy from my neighborhood. Our relationship consisted of swimming in ponds and climbing the tree in my back yard. While climbing said tree, he dared me to kiss him. I did. We didn't talk much after that.

Mike (age seven): A boy from down the street. He was eleven. We were pretty good buddies until he and two of his friends followed me to the park and forced me into the boys bathroom. Mike made me french kiss him. My seven year old self did not enjoy it. Yes. I was lip raped.

Quinn (age nine): A boy I met at the canal my friends and I used to swim in. After five minutes he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. The next night I ran into him at the movie theater. I was going to see a movie with my parents and he asked me to ditch them and see the movie he came to see. I agreed. "Can I carry you to our seats?" He asked. I laughed at him and went back to sit with my parents.

Manny (age twelve): A boy who moved in down the street. Me and my four best friends were walking down the street to scope him out and he decided that he thought I was the cutest. After a week of "dating," we went to the water slide with a bunch of friends. Two of my cousins were there and were very clingy, meaning that I wasn't able to spend time with Manny. He decided to date another of my girl friends. By the end of the night he was back with me, and there was a tizzy in the girl group.

Jeremy (age fourteen): A boy from school. He was my walk on the wild side. I tried to sneak out to go to his house once. I was caught. (Thanks parents.) We went to the water slide on a date. He wanted to stop in the slide and kiss me. I called my dad to come and pick me up. I broke up with him that night.

Justin (age fifteen): A boy from school. We "dated" for the summer. We always brought an extra person to throw the number off because I wasn't 16 yet, therefore I shouldn't have been dating. (I don't know why all the previous boys didn't bother me.) He was apparently using me to make another girl jealous.

Adam (age fifteen-twenty): A boy that made my life a complicated mess. This post is long enough that I don't need to go into detail.

James (age eighteen): A boy I knew from school. We dated for a week. Lots of kissing. Oh, the kissing was fun. He broke up with me. A week later he changed his mind. I didn't kiss him again after that and I broke it off after another week.

This post to be continued...(when I have more boys to talk about.)
Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Pet Peeves

When the water heater dies while I'm in the shower. Even worse, when it dies four times.

When I am trying to sleep and a song pops into my head and I can't remember all of the lyrics. I've found that when I a song gets stuck in my head, if I can go through all of the lyrics, it will go away. If I can't remember the lyrics, I'm screwed and will eventually get out of bed to check the lyrics.

When a favorite character in a TV show disappears. They just drop off the face of the show. Like West from season two of Heroes. I loved him. His character was mentioned a few episodes ago. No word for two years, and all of a sudden they bring him up.*

When my house is silent until I start to make a video. I push record and it's like a marching band is parading around upstairs.

When a person pulls into the center turning lane in order to get into traffic. I hate when people do that.

This has been a list of five things that bother me. I'm sure there will be many more posts of this nature in the future!

*Also, are they ever going to explain why Libby was in the hospital with Hurley? They killed her an episode later, and I don't think THAT question will ever be answered. Stupid LOST with it's plot holes and addictive quality.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Author

I need to blog. About two hours ago, I was given some really heart breaking news. I don't want to go into detail. But ever since I've just felt the need to do something. Anything. Get my mind off of this.

So I'm going to blog. I'm going to tell you about something that has made me so happy these past few months.

I wrote a novel. It was for a program called National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo).

The whole concept of NaNoWriMo is to write a novel of 50,000 words or more all in the month of November when NaNoWriMo takes place. I had heard about it in 2008 but not until half way through the month of November, therefore thwarting any thoughts of joining. So in 2009, when November rolled around, I decided to sign up and give it my best shot.

I have tried to write novels before. I've always lacked the discipline needed to actually sit down and finish. My best attempt before 11/09 was about 14,500 words. I loved the story, but there is a big reason why I quit. I was obsessed with it being perfect.

In October of 2009, I had the opportunity to meet and interview one of my favorite authors, Shannon Hale, for my YouTube book review channel. She was speaking at the Utah Humanities Book Festival in Salt Lake City prior to our short interview. She and another author, Sara Zarr, were paired together to talk about their books and writing. They said something profound that I think every aspiring author needs to hear.

"Your first draft is just that. It's a first draft. It doesn't need to be perfect. Just write it, you can fine tune later."

That was my problem with each of my previous attempts. I wanted it to be a publishing ready novel right from the beginning. That doesn't happen. This is also the point of NaNoWriMo. No revisions. Revisions are for December. You spend the whole of November getting the novel written, fixing can be done later.

This is what I did. I ate up the experience, writing for hours and hours each day. I had my 50,000 words by the 17th. Each moment was amazing and it became a race to finish the novel completely by the end of November. I did it. The novel ended up just over 90,000 words. (For those of you who don't understand how many words that is, picture writing about 32.5 term papers for college.)

I've since read through it, doing some minuscule editing and have sent it out for a few family members and close friends to read. It's terrifying knowing that it's in the world being read at the moment. But I've gotten good words of encouragement so far.

"I have not finished your story yet, but I am really into it so far! You really are an awesome writer. Love your work!"

"I too am enjoying your book.....not much editing going on because I am getting lost in the story."

It's been such an amazing experience and I'm so glad that I did it! I can't wait for next November. I'll be writing the prequel to my current novel. Exciting! I encourage you all to join, too!


The cover was made by me, and if it ever gets published this will not be the final cover. I'm just a very visual person with access to photoshop.

Here are some of my favorite lines from the novel:

“You are beautiful.” He said, kissing the base of my neck.
Beautiful and hollow; just like the flames.

My mind screamed cautions in my head, but my foolish heart was beating so loudly that I didn’t hear a thing.

I hope that someday everyone will get the chance to read it. But even if that day never comes, it's been one of the biggest blessings in my life.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Incriminating

I was looking through some old pictures today and it's crazy how much I've changed in the last five years. How's a photo montage sound? 2005-2010! (There's a lot of pictures, I couldn't decide!)

2005:


2006:


2007:



2008:

2009:



2010:



Saturday, January 23, 2010

A Bit About Kate

What do you do when you want to blog, but have nothing really insightful to write about?

I could mention that I think I have three ingrown fingernails on my left hand from playing four hours of Guitar Hero III today. (There are about 6 songs I've never been able to beat on expert. I beat three of them today without really trying.)

I could mention that I had a really good night's sleep last night thanks to the fluffy quilt that my Grandmother made me.

I could mention that I've been called 'hot' or 'pretty' or words with similar meaning by six different guys this week.

But even though those things are worth mentioning, there is not enough information there to write a full length post.

So I've gone online and I've found a 'meme' to introduce myself to you a little better. I guess when I started this new blog I thought all of my original readers would come back. Not many have. So, for those new readers, here's an intro to me!

Four Jobs I've Had
  1. Wal-mart Cashier
  2. Aeropostale (A bit of everything)
  3. Child Care Provider
  4. Preschool Teacher
Four Movies I Can Watch Over and Over (I hate just choosing four. I own about 272 movies and love more than just what I own.)
  1. Lord of the Rings
  2. Hercules
  3. The Holiday
  4. The Island
Four Places I've Lived
  1. Vernal, Ut
  2. Layton, Ut
  3. My mother's womb...
  4. Heaven...
Four TV Shows I Love
  1. Friends
  2. Lost
  3. Gilmore Girls
  4. Heroes
Another Four TV Shows I Love (I couldn't just leave it at four.)
  1. Chuck
  2. So You Think You Can Dance
  3. Avatar: The Last Airbender (Yes, it's a cartoon. It's amazing.)
  4. Boy Meets World
Four of My Favorite Books
  1. The Goose Girl by Shannon Hale
  2. The Book Thief by Marcus Zusak
  3. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins 
  4. The Singer of All Songs by Kate Constable
Four Places I've Been On Vacation
  1. San Juan Islands, Washington
  2. San Antonio, Texas
  3. Orlando, Florida
  4. Las Vegas, Nevada
Four of My Favorite Dishes
  1. Fajitas
  2. Mashed Potatoes
  3. Cheese and Broccoli Soup
  4. Spinach Wraps
Four Sites I Visit Daily
  1. Blogger
  2. Facebook
  3. Twitter
  4. YouTube
I think that's quite the list. Also! If you'd like to hear some more random facts about me, you can watch this video. It's a little outdated. Only 47 of those things are true now, and I look really young. It's insane what a year can do to a person!
Friday, January 22, 2010

This crazy week of mine...

It's been quite the week. I'm trying to come up with something witty to start this post with, but nothing is coming to me. I guess I'll just get into it.

On Tuesday I had a really good friend over to watch a movie. As we were going through the movie choices, she mentioned something about boys and instantly our focus switched. We didn't end up watching a movie. Instead we talked for five hours. Mostly about boys. She's going to try and set me up with a few people, including a guy from her mission that lives in Provo. (He thinks I'm cute.) She also has a few other friends that have seen my pictures via her facebook that want her to hook them up with me. I'm game. It was very much fun, and I just needed that girl's night.

The next night was institute. We had about eight quilts to tie, and I helped with one. About the time I needed a break, Pete showed up and I went over to try and teach him how to tie a quilt. He was hopeless and I ended up just finishing off his strand of yarn and talking to him for the rest of the night. He gave me a ride home and I got online. (Because that's what I do.)

Thursday was the day of my date with Pete. I woke up very excited, and couldn't wait for it to start. Somewhere during the time when I was getting ready, I got a phone call from my sister. She had seen on the news that one of my all time favorite teachers had been arrested for sexual misconduct with a student. I don't believe it's true. I've thought about it a lot, and I honestly don't believe it's true. I went onto the news web page and sure enough, there he was along with a brief story. They had a picture of his mugshot, and I kept thinking "This isn't the man I know. He's not smiling, his eyes are dull. This is not him." I credit this man to a large amount of my growth as a person. In an incredibly difficult time in my life when the world around me was threatening to bring me down, he was one who could make me feel like I was a wonderful person. That my life was worth something and that I had so much to give. This news absolutely devastated me.

I began to read some of the comments on this story, growing more and more depressed with each harsh and negative word. I needed to make one of my own. I put a lot of thought into it, and this is what I wrote:

"This man is one of my favorite people. I don't know whether the accusations against him are true or not, but I do know one thing; he does not deserve the hatred and insults he has been receiving in these comments. Do not judge a man that you do not know because of a story that we do not know the end of. That is all I have to say in the matter."

Needless to say, my desire to go on the date was pretty much non-existent after that. But I finished getting ready and went, burying the experience deep. I wanted to enjoy this date, despite the knowledge I now had.

Pete and I went to McDonald's and then to see Avatar. (Great movie!) We sat a little too close to the screen, and my head started to hurt halfway through the three hour movie. I very much enjoyed it, though.

There were a couple times I thought about reaching over and holding Pete's hand...but I realized that I really didn't want to. When the movie was over, my head hurt, and I just wanted to go home. I didn't have patience for that awkward "What now?" scene in the truck outside of my house, so I said:

"Can I have a hug?"

I reached across the seat, hugged him and got out of the car. It might be that I was just upset but I don't think I'm feeling anything special for Pete. I must have been really distracted or unimpressed enough that I didn't even think about the fact that his awesome arms were around me.

I didn't get a hair cut today. I knew I wouldn't have a car (my parents went out of town). I didn't plan that when I had made the appointment. I'll have to make a new one. I'll post before and after pictures.

It was a very busy week, and I'm glad it's coming to a close.

PS This post took me a very long time to write. I was listening to "Bad Romance" by Lady GaGa on repeat, and every time the chorus came on, I felt the need to take my hands off the keyboard and do the dance that is done in the music video. Oh dear. Here it comes again....
Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Social Butterfly

WARNING: Incredibly long post.

It's kind of surprising me how one conscious decision and some listening to the spirit has done for me in just two short days. A week ago, I would have sat at home with none of these experiences coming my way, and guaranteed a lot of sadness following it.

On Sunday, I was INCREDIBLY depressed. I cried quarts. With the help of a couple of friends, I changed the direction of my life. It was hard in the moment, but now I can feel how much that turn around has changed things. This change will make it so much easier to turn my back on those short comings.

Just after I did this, I emailed a bunch of friends. People that I wanted to hang out with and set up 'play dates.' I couldn't wait to get to church because it meant I would get out of my house. I couldn't wait to see people. I've realized that I spend WAY too much time online, and though talking to my online friends is great; I need some In Real Life (IRL) social contact.

Church was my first stop. You can read about the beginning of these exploits here.

It was 'Linger Longer*' after church and I was very excited. There are two different Singles Wards in my home town, and we combine for this activity once every month, rotating whose turn it is to prepare the activity. My ward's Linger Longers are INSANELY cool! Amazing food, decorations, different and fabulous things to drink. It's awesome. This week we were able to make our own grilled cheese sandwiches. (Tip: honey butter on a grilled cheese sandwich = fabulous!)

During this, I had the chance to flirt with two guys that I think are pretty cool. Pete and Devin. I had spent the last three hours of church with Pete since the Black Licorice Gum incident. I noticed that Devin was sitting alone, and because I kind of like him, too; I called over (totally out of character, I might add.) and invited him to sit with us. Another girl sat with us. Her name is Natalie, and she's about amazing. I quite love her to death. The fact that she's a fellow Friends addict instantly raised my appreciation for her. It was a great time. Flirting and laughter are bomb.

Yesterday, I went to lunch with a close friend of mine. She has been in town for nearly two months and I haven't spent any time with her, and I felt the need to remedy that. We went out to lunch and jammed on guitar. It was great to catch up with her, and I'm so glad we were able to make that happen.

My aunt and uncle are in town and the entire family went to my grandmother's house for soup and good company. I almost didn't go. I'm so VERY glad that I did. I was able to chat with two of my younger cousins. I love those girls! They are just cute, and so much fun to talk to. I'm very happy that I went and was able to spend time with family.

I did leave early. I had promised Natalie that I would come to the ward's Family Home Evening. You can read a bit about that event here. We played I've never, which is an incredibly fun game. The best is when you get targeted. There's no one to trade chairs with, as you are the only one who has done that thing. Someone tried to target me with "I've never made videos for YouTube." Half of the circle stood up, which surprised me.

After the game, we converged into the kitchen to munch on leftovers from Linger Longer the day before. Good chatting ensued. Including Pete asking me if I wanted to go on a date.

Pete: Have you seen the movie Avatar?
Kate: No, I haven't. I want to though.
Pete: I haven't seen it either. I want to.
...
Pete: We should go.
Kate: Yeah, I'd like that.
...
Kate: *after a long pause* When?
Pete: Oh! Umm...Thursday?
Kate: Sounds great!

I have so much more happening this week. I'll blog about it all, I'm sure. Movie night with a girl-friend tonight. Institute tomorrow. Date on Thursday. Haircut on Friday. It's going to be a good week. I'm determined to make it so.

*Linger Longer is a Mormon Single Adults Activity. It's a chance for the single members of the church in the area to get together, eat food and linger, well, longer.
Monday, January 18, 2010

I've never...

The Singles Ward Family Home Evenings are just fun. I showed up late, missing the lesson, but was able to catch the activity. I walked into the room and everyone was sitting in a circle. Ah ha! "I've Never!" That was the game.

For those of you who have never played "I've Never," the rules are simple. There is one less chair than there are people. The extra person is 'it'. They stand in the middle and say something that they have never done. Those people in the circle that HAVE done that thing stand and swap chairs, leaving a new person standing in the middle. The game repeats over and over until you get bored. It's a great way to learn about people and their experiences.

So, I thought I'd go through the list of some of my "I've Nevers"

I've never been to New York.

I've never kissed a guy on New Year's Eve.

I've never had a broken bone.

I've never been snowmobiling.

I've never had the chicken pox.

I've never been on a cruise.

I've never had a bloody nose.

I HAVE however been asked out on a date for Thursday! YAY!

Black Licorice

So, I realized yesterday that I haven't been on an official date since early October, 2008. I went to the corn maze. Lame-sauce! Sure. There have a few other happenings that could count as dates. But there wasn't anything planned, or I paid for myself. I could count these on one hand (four fingers to be exact), but I don't really count these occurrences as dates.

I've decided to work on this. I'm not sure exactly what I can do...except be more social. So that's what I've decided to do.

Yesterday I was late for Sacrament Meeting. Not overly late, I arrived during the opening hymn. Usually in this occurrence I would sit on the back row, so I don't disturb anyone. Apparently, quite a few people were late to Sacrament meeting and the back rows were full. So I started to work my way up the aisle, aiming for the next empty pew. There, a pew behind it, was Pete. Pete is one of the guys I not-really-dated*. He's cute and funny. I would say yes if he asked me out.

So as I'm walking past, I see him, and in the two seconds where I debated moving forward or sitting with him, these thoughts zoomed through my head. "Just keep walking. But if you sit with him, maybe he'll ask you out. Be social, wasn't that the goal? But what if he doesn't WANT to sit by me? Well, you better make a decision because you are by his pew, and if you want to sit with him, you better decide quick!"

"Hey Pete." I whisper. "Can I sit by you?"

He moved aside making room for me, I have no idea if he was smiling or not. I set my stuff of the empty pew in front of me and leaned back against the pew. I smiled shyly and looked forward. It was actually a bit awkward and I kind of regretted sitting by him. What if he didn't want me to sit by him? But on the spot like that, what is he going to do? We're in the middle of singing 'Lord, I Would Follow Thee' and he exclaims, "NO! You can not sit by me Katie Weber!" Psh. Right.

We sat there in silence through the ward/stake business and I longed to lean over and whisper something, breaking the tension. But what if he was totally enjoying the sustaining of the new Stake Young Women's presidency? Who was I to interrupt him unless I had some really insightful thing to say. We moved on to the rest hymn and the sacrament. Whew! An excuse to not speak. We're being reverent. But it was over quickly and the first speaker stood up.

Pete then reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of gum, offering me a piece. I took it, an entire scene from Friends** running through my head. I unwrap the gum. 'Blackjack' it says. The gum inside is black too. In my head I wonder if this is that turn-your-teeth-black prank gum, but he puts his stick in his mouth and I lift mine to do the same, figuring it must be safe. I lean over as I do this. "What kind of gum is this?" The gum touches my tongue, answering for myself as he replies. "Black Licorice."

Anyone that knows me knows I HATE black licorice. But what was I to do? Give it back? No! It had been on my tongue! I put the stick in my mouth and began to chew, wincing at the grotesque flavor. I made a few clearing-my-throat noises as I tried not to show my utter revulsion as the flavor filled my mouth. He looked over at me with a smirk.

"Do you not like it?"

"I hate black licorice." I'm sure my face looked disgusted.

He chuckled. This painful experience gave us something to whisper about during the talks that we should have been listening to. I chewed that piece of gum all through Sacrament Meeting. Success!

Still no date, but things are looking up.

*A friend of mine invited me to play games with a bunch of people. It ended up just being Pete and I, and she and her fiance. It was very paired off...and if Pete had asked me...I'd call it a date. But he didn't, so it wasn't.

**The one where Chandler gets stuck in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre (Victoria's Secret Model). She offers him gum. He says no because it wasn't sugarless. He then screams at himself in his head because if Jill Goodacre offers you gum, you take it. He then changes his mind, saying "On second thought, gum would be perfection." I almost said this. I knew that this was my chance to break the tension on the pew. I would not turn down the gum like Chandler had.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

A few things to mention:

1. I have a lot of split ends. My sister gave me some money to get a hair cut, but I have yet to do so. I should get on that. Maybe I'm just procrastinating because, well...I don't have a job. So knowing that I have $50 in my purse makes me feel a little better. So I've taken to pinching a clump of hair at a time and taking to it with the scissors. I see a split end...it's get chopped. I will sit down for half an hour and just hack away at my splits. It never seems to help. I could grab a section of hair right this second and...*grabs a section of hair and looks*...Nope. You can't tell that I just spent the better part of an online conversation eliminating split ends. Maybe if I keep going.


2. While writing the first part of this post...I broke one of my favorite necklaces. Yes, the cute red one in my profile picture. Smooth.

3. I've lost a total of 16 pounds. I mentioned this in a quick sentence a day or so ago, but I thought I'd expound. I drink LOTS of water. I eat when I first wake up. I don't snack. I have small portions. I'm dropping weight. I can't remember the last time I weighed 193 pounds. Some tips from me: Chocolate craving? Grab a banana and a teaspoon of Nutella. The combo is fab and Nutella has chocolate, but also has protein. Good stuff, satisfies the craving. *notices a split end and clips it. Distracted now, clips about 17 others* Oh...also, spinach wraps are win!

4. I've done a switch. I finally decided to stop sinking in "The Swamp" and take a step forward. Super hard. I think the farther you sink in, the harder it is to pull out. There's another concept. Hmmm. I'm moving forward though, and I think I see dry land in the distance. It's possible there's another swamp on the other side of that rise, but so be it.

5. *snips snips snips the splits* My main character is about to meet the love interest. WOO! Can't wait to reread that scene!

6. I have church in a few hours! I'm so happy! I need it today!
    Here's wishing you all a great Sunday!

    ...

    ARGH! Split ends! *hacks at her hair!*
    Tuesday, January 12, 2010

    The Swamp

    Earlier this evening I had the chance to talk to a friend. She needed advice about a hard time she's been having in her life. As I was telling her a few cliche tips, trying to make her feel better, a thought hit me.

    This was the thought:

    "This is just one squelchy and icky step on your journey to happiness. You'll get out of this swamp. When you do; clean off your shoes, but don't forget it. There may be other swamps in the future and the knowledge you gained from this one will help you through it. And remember you always have a walking stick, a hand to help pull you out of those sticky situations. Pray always!"

    It helped her out, which I was glad for.

    But more incredibly, it was something that I needed to know myself. I feel like I'm stuck in this swamp. I can't get out alone. But I know that I am never truly alone. I am so grateful for this knowledge, and I'm grateful for the opportunity I had today to help someone with my words, especially when I can use them myself.
    Monday, January 11, 2010

    You2be Anniversary

    Blow the whistles, throw the confetti! I've been on YouTube for TWO WHOLE YEARS!

    I know what you are thinking. "Why is she blogging about it instead of making a video?"

    I'll tell you why.

    You see, I've had the knowledge that my YouTube anniversary was drawing near for about two months. I have the date written on my calendar. I've been so excited to make the video I would make to celebrate the date...but not once, nope; not once did I actually plan anything for this video.

    What did I expect? That I'd sit down in front of the camera and a witty and well planned video would just make itself? Psh. No. That does not happen.

    So instead, I'm going to blog about it.

    YouTube has been such a big part of my life and I'm so glad that I've had it's presence for the past two years. It's been a way for me to create something that makes other people smile. And more importantly makes ME smile.

    If you would like to give me a great anniversary gift, you can bop over to katemichellouiseweb on YouTube and subscribe. Leave a comment or two. Just enjoy yourselves in my humiliation.

    Happy Anniversary YouTube! I love you!

    Chanters of Tremaris

    Saturday, January 9, 2010

    Photoshop

    A friend of mine was searching in vain for a set of red eyes on a black background for an online group for which she was creating the layout. I took to opportunity and volunteered to make her some. Love the result! (Especially the fact that if you focus on a pupil, it DILATES! Creepy!)



    I've lately come to realize that I LOVE photoshop! I thought I'd share with you some of my favorites!





    Friday, January 8, 2010

    Cover!

    I just realized how much I loved this song. It's not new by any means, but I love it.

    Full of Grace by Sarah McLachlan. Unfortunately the karaoke for this song was weird and annoying, so I sang over the top of her. (I'll admit that it annoys me when people do that. But I just needed to see how I sounded.) I really like it. Listen if you'd like! (If not...this post doesn't do much for ya.)
    Thursday, January 7, 2010

    A Good Day Letter

    Dear Good Day,

    I have so many reasons to thank you! You have continually managed to make me smile! If I had a hat, I would tip it off to you!

    I'm not sure if you are aware, but here are the things that you have done for me today, GD.

    You brought me lots of return messages from people I care about. It been very good to reconnect with friends and family.

    You got me motivated to work on my novel again. I read about 12 chapters and will probably read some more before the day is out. It's been so much fun to reacquaint myself with my characters and the story. I had no idea how much I missed it. I also came to the realization that I'm ready and excited for people to read it. When I'm finished reading it through this time, I think I'll start sending out manuscripts!

    (You also made me feel like my writing doesn't suck as much as I thought it did.)

    Anytime I was feeling a little bit iffy, you did something to make me laugh! Thanks. Laughter is the way to make me happy! Like when you made me smile when my pajama pants fell around my ankles in the kitchen. No one was around and I don't think anyone knew. I pulled the drawstrings tighter. Thanks for making me feel like I'm losing weight!

    You allowed me a few moments to watch Friends. I will love you forever for this!

    You let me eat spaghetti for breakfast. How awesome are you? Also! You didn't make me gag when I drank that gross yogurt stuff that I drink first thing in the morning. I think I actually enjoyed it a little today. Nice little bonus you've thrown in there!

    You also made me feel VERY loved, which was about the best thing ever! I've realized that Heavenly Father has a plan for me, and I just need to smile and be patient.

    Anyway, Good Day. My point is this: Thank you for the smiles and happiness!

    Hope to see you again really soon!

    Kate
    Wednesday, January 6, 2010

    Messaging Rampage

    I came to the realization today that I have about 450 facebook friends. And I realized that while I have this great tool with which to communicate with them, I rarely use it.

    Today I went through my massive lists of friends with the intent of messaging those people that I care about. There were a lot more than I really expected.

    I went through, skimming the surface of names and left them quick and honest messages.

    I finished the night with a total of 72 people messaged.

    The plan is to go back through tomorrow and say "Hi!" to a few more!

    I hope I made these people smile. It's good to hear how the people I love are doing.
    Tuesday, January 5, 2010

    You're Not Sorry

    Monday, January 4, 2010

    Dreams

    Warning: Very long (and slightly disturbing post.)

    Dream -

    My house was a three story cube, with a large square tower rising out of the middle of the roof and another ten stories into the sky.

    Now, it wasn't technically my house, as I was visiting; but my family lived inside. There was even a me. (Though, she did not look, sound or act like me. She was simply me in relation to my family.)

    Let me break down the layout of this crazy house for you. The basement was really a bomb shelter. Locked doors, metal walls, food storage, etc. The next two floors were surrounded by a wrap around porch, and wrap around balcony. There were ladders that led to the third floor of the cube, the walls of which were made completely of windows. The tower was also filled with windows. Each floor of the tower was it's own individual room, the stairs spiraling up in one corner. Like the ladders to the balcony, there were ladders on three sides of the tower, in case of an emergency.

    Okay, now that the boring part of explaining the premise is through, I can actually explain this dream.

    The family and I (save grouchy me-that's-not-really-me) went to an outdoor movie that is taking place in the park a few blocks from the house. About five minutes into this film, I look up into the sky where an F-16 is flying over head, shortly followed by a helicopter. The jet is losing altitude quickly and I realize that it's wing is on fire.

    "It's going down!" I yell over the roar, and everyone watching the movie looks up with shocked and terrified faces as the jet zooms over our heads and crashes in another part of the small town.

    My gaze goes back to the helicopter. It's spinning out of control and is heading directly for the outdoor theater. Screams and chaos ensue as everyone runs for cover, trying to get out of the way of the quickly descending mass of burning metal.

    "To the house! Quickly!" Yell my parents over the confusion. The three of us (I have no idea where the other members of my family are at this time) run back to the strange house as quickly as we can.

    Somewhere a few blocks away another something crashes and the ground shakes as we run. As we approach the house, we realize that we've lost my dad. We climb the ladder to the balcony. The me that's not really me is standing there shooting at people in military uniforms.

    "What are you doing?! You can't shoot the military!" I yell at her!

    "Those aren't human! They came from the planes!" She shouts back as she continues firing! I turn around. My mother is gone. It starts to pour. "Quickly! Come inside!" Other-Kate screams as another plane hits the ground somewhere else in town. "Shut the curtains!"

    I do as she says. Apparently these 'unhumans' can't get by curtains. We start heading up into the tower, closing all of the curtains as we go. We reach Other-Kate's room on the sixth story of the tower, and we move around the room to close the curtains. My brother-in-law shows up at the top of the stairs, an unclosed window behind him. A human-shaped non-human creature appears behind him in the window. We shout to him to move, but it's too late. The creature pulls him through the window.

    We wait for more to follow. But I suppose the capture of J keeps them busy for the time being. Other-Kate collapses on her bed and cries. I sit beside her, and we mourn in each others arms, accepting the hopelessness of the situation. We wait for our demise, but nothing happens. No doom comes.

    We sit there on the bed until the rain stops and light starts to come over the horizon.

    "We have to finish closing the curtains, and then head downstairs to the bomb shelter." We stand and the scene cuts to outside.

    There is light glistening on the rain drenched and destroyed streets. People slowly come out in twos and threes and join in front of the house. They make groups around the three ladders reaching to the top of the tower. It then zooms in on the face of one of these people as they lick the side of the ladder. It's covered in blood! Like in a movie, the shot pans up to show the bodies of my family hanging from these ladders. The unhumans start to climb with unhuman speed, tossing the bodies out of the way and delighting in the taste of the blood that clings to the ladder.

    The scene cuts back to me and me, as we move to the base of the stairs, about to move up to close the curtains on the final floor. We are now on the ninth floor of the tower. A thudding comes from above us and we look up the winding stairwell. There are a dozen pale human faces staring down at us, the blood upon their demonic smiles glistening in the light of the sunrise coming through the uncovered windows.

    I open my eyes, I take a deep breath. I'm awake. I contemplate going back to sleep to see how this plays out. But the outcome seemed way to bleak, and I didn't want me to die once, let alone twice.

    My brain worries me. (Especially the fact that now I am regretting waking myself up. It would have been interesting to see how it finished.)
    Sunday, January 3, 2010

    Happiness

    It was my turn to give a lesson in church. Whatever topic I wanted (with some inspiration of course.) But I was having trouble picking a topic.

    One of my goals for 2010 was to "Strive to maintain a positive and upbeat attitude."

    By the 2nd, my eyes were flooded over with tears, and my heart weighed down with sorrow.

    How could I have failed in my goal already? It hadn't even been a full two days in the new year!

    The thought occurred to me that there might be many other people who were feeling discouraged and I based my lesson on a talk by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf called "Happiness, Your Heritage."*

    I feel very blessed by the things that I learned from preparing this lesson.

    President Uchtdorf mentions that two ways to help yourself become happy are "creativity and compassion."

    Creativity:
    "...take unorganized matter into our hands and mold it into something of beauty." He says. You don't need to be artistic to be creative. Creation doesn't have to be a work of art, it doesn't need to be perfect. Creation can span from a garden, a song, or even something as simple as making someone smile. If you put forth the effort to create something you are proud of, you will find joy.

    Compassion:
    “Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.” J.M. Barrie, author of Peter Pan. It is impossible to feel sorry for yourself when you are helping someone less fortunate than yourself. Immerse yourself in the service of your fellowmen, and I guarantee that "your gloom [will be] gone, you'll feel light, the Spirit of the Lord [will be] upon you, and everything [will] seem illuminated.” Again, just the simple act of making someone smile can make your own heart so much lighter.

    This lesson was just such a wonderful example in my life, and I wanted to share it with you. I believe these principles will help me in my quest to "maintain a positive and upbeat attitude." Maybe they will even help you!

    *I realize that some of the people who might read this blog are not LDS (Mormon), but I thought the principles I've listed here could benefit anyone, no matter their faith.
    Saturday, January 2, 2010

    Boredom

    My nephew visited my family's house today. Something set him off and he started to cry. After a few moments of unintelligible whimpering and complaining, I caught the words "I'm just so bored!" as they spilled out of his mouth. I didn't know what to tell the kid. The truth is, I've been feeling the exact same way all day.

    I can't say that I was bored to tears like he was; but I've certainly felt as if my brain might wither away from inactivity.

    It's not that I haven't tried to find something productive to do. But it's simply one of those days.

    I'm caught up to date on all of my blog reading.

    I've watched all recent subscription videos on YouTube.

    I've run out of Photoshop ideas for the time being.

    I do have a video to edit. It's coming along, but I can only do it in short spurts. To be fair, that's how it starts with all of my extensive videos. Once I'm about halfway through I'll be able to just sit down and finish. But it'll be about four more sit-down-and-work-for-fifteen-minutes-before-taking-a-break moments until I get to that point.

    I played sudoku with my mom for a while today. It held my attention for about an hour or so before I became aware that I was failing miserably due to my lack of focus.

    I think I've finally come to the conclusion that today is just one of those days. Even if I find something to do, the fact is that it simply won't hold my attention for very long.

    Why is this? Because I'm distracted. And I'm bored because those few engrossing thoughts are trying to take up residence in my mind and won't let me drown them out with pointless (but sometimes entertaining) activities.

    Well, I have a lesson to prepare for church tomorrow...I should get on that. I hope I don't get too bored. Wish me luck!
    Friday, January 1, 2010

    2010!

    It's a new year! A new decade! I'm sitting here contemplating that in another ten year's time I'll be 30 years old. Wow. That seems so close, but seeing as I've only been alive for two decades so far, pretty sure that a decade will still take a while. (Let's hope.)

    Here are some things I hope to happen in the next ten years:
    • Get married and start a family.
    • Get my book published.
    • Travel.

    There are many more I'm sure, but we'll leave it at that since I have quite a bit to list yet.

    Goals for the year 2010:
    • Continue to lose weight.
    • Do extensive revisions on my novel.
    • Strive for a positive and upbeat attitude.
    • Make more videos than I did in 2009.
    • Read. A Lot!
    • Strengthen existing friendships, and cultivate new ones.
    • And most importantly, do all that I can to strengthen my relationship with my Heavenly Father.

    A few things I'm looking forward to:
    • NaNoWriMo 2010
    • Assistant Directing the spring musical at the Jr. High.
    • Getting a few church things under way.
    • Being part of the cast of the community show.
    • My 21st birthday! (Since I've turned 18, I've dreaded my birthdays. I'm excited for this one.)

    It's going to be a great year. I can feel it!

    (Update from last post: I did not get a New Year's Eve kiss. Sadness, right? But it was a great night nonetheless. I think a random kiss might have just made things awkward. Maybe next year.)