I've been thinking about all of my past relationships. Some of them are pretty laughable. Enjoy yourselves in my failed relationships.

Justin (age five): A boy that lived across the street. His two older sisters forced us to get married in my back yard on my trampoline. The marriage didn't last for more than a few hours, but we remained really good friends.

Brogan (age six): A boy from my neighborhood. Our relationship consisted of swimming in ponds and climbing the tree in my back yard. While climbing said tree, he dared me to kiss him. I did. We didn't talk much after that.

Mike (age seven): A boy from down the street. He was eleven. We were pretty good buddies until he and two of his friends followed me to the park and forced me into the boys bathroom. Mike made me french kiss him. My seven year old self did not enjoy it. Yes. I was lip raped.

Quinn (age nine): A boy I met at the canal my friends and I used to swim in. After five minutes he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. The next night I ran into him at the movie theater. I was going to see a movie with my parents and he asked me to ditch them and see the movie he came to see. I agreed. "Can I carry you to our seats?" He asked. I laughed at him and went back to sit with my parents.

Manny (age twelve): A boy who moved in down the street. Me and my four best friends were walking down the street to scope him out and he decided that he thought I was the cutest. After a week of "dating," we went to the water slide with a bunch of friends. Two of my cousins were there and were very clingy, meaning that I wasn't able to spend time with Manny. He decided to date another of my girl friends. By the end of the night he was back with me, and there was a tizzy in the girl group.

Jeremy (age fourteen): A boy from school. He was my walk on the wild side. I tried to sneak out to go to his house once. I was caught. (Thanks parents.) We went to the water slide on a date. He wanted to stop in the slide and kiss me. I called my dad to come and pick me up. I broke up with him that night.

Justin (age fifteen): A boy from school. We "dated" for the summer. We always brought an extra person to throw the number off because I wasn't 16 yet, therefore I shouldn't have been dating. (I don't know why all the previous boys didn't bother me.) He was apparently using me to make another girl jealous.

Adam (age fifteen-twenty): A boy that made my life a complicated mess. This post is long enough that I don't need to go into detail.

James (age eighteen): A boy I knew from school. We dated for a week. Lots of kissing. Oh, the kissing was fun. He broke up with me. A week later he changed his mind. I didn't kiss him again after that and I broke it off after another week.