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Monday, June 6, 2011

Locked Doors

I'm feeling very trapped.

Trapped in a life where I don't see much in the future.

It's not all bleak, there are great, amazing things on the horizon; but when it comes to a the way I feel about myself, the future looks very bleak.

I am terrified that I will always be stuck in a dead end job.

If I had a goal to work for, I might feel differently. I have no idea what I want to be. I'm up, I'm grown. I should know by now. But I don't.

There is nothing that I can see when I look ahead except worry about paying bills and dread every morning when that alarm clock goes off.

I don't want to live my life like that.

I don't want to feel like I'm locked in a life that I don't want. I want to move on to bigger and better things.

But I don't know how to proceed and that scares me more than anything.

I'm trapped. I just want a peek outside the door I'm stuck behind and glimpse what lies behind it. Hopefully it's something much better than where I am now.

18 Thoughts:

Jenn said...

Sometimes things look bleak... but you'll find your sunshine soon.

Ben said...

Don't worry about not knowing what you want to be. I thought I knew what I wanted to be, but then that changed. Don't get too wrapped up in it. Try stuff. Find what you like and do it until it isn't what you like anymore. Repeat as necessary.

Kevin said...

What Jenn said. Things will turn around, just as long as you keep at it. I know it will. Just stay strong, babe.

Jessi said...

I feel the same way you do, but the important thing is to keep moving forward and learn from the past.

I hope you have a great day. :)

Anonymous said...

beautiful artsy pictures! keep your head up girl!!!! :-)

Toni Rose said...

nice post kate :)

and, don't fret... that's what the rest of us are also thinking :S

day at a time. one day at a time :)

Gillian said...

I know this'll be something of an anticlimactic bit of advice, but don't stress yourself too much. When I was in my early 20s, I HAD to know where I was going. I had to have a plan. I was goal-oriented, to say the least.

Now, at the nearly 30 mark, I realize that life truly is about the journey and not the destination. Just keep your eyes open, and ENJOY each minute!

Good luck, and here's hoping for a little clarification!

Baby Talk without the Babble

L!$@ said...

I feel like that sometimes...actually a lot. We just have to break the door down and go for something. You'll be fine :D

lalalalauren said...

i have definitely felt like this. it's so easy for me to get caught up in the fact that i don't know what i'm doing and as a result i just do nothing. i think the best thing (and really, the only thing) you can do is to keep moving in some direction and know that where ever you go you're going to end up somewhere. if that makes any sense at all.
but anyway - i have no doubt you'll be able to open that locked door at some point.

Dave said...

I know this is probably a redundant comment, but I think all of us in our twenties have gotten like this at one time or another. Give it some time, and I'm sure you'll figure out a master plan for life.
You're far too positive a person to be feeling all mopey like this, so cut it out, okay?

C said...

Keep your chin up, pretty lady. It's just a rough patch, and like all rough patches- it'll have to even out eventually.

Just remember the good stuff. You've got some great long flowy hair. You have a paycheck now. You're super charismatic. Etc, so on, so forth. To sum it up, you rock!

Melbourne on my mind said...

As all the above comments indicate, you're definitely not alone in this. I'm right there with you at the moment, which is proof that even when you're 28, you can have absolutely no idea where your life is going.

Wow. That wasn't very reassuring, was it? Hmm, how about this? Surely, with enough of us pounding on that damn door, we can eventually break through to the other side.


Voe said...

Keep your chin up, I am sure it will get better soon.

You have a great blog by the way.

All the best,

Tara said...

I'm 28 and I have a good job but it's still pretty dead end. Some days I still don't know what I really want to DO with my life. So don't worry...we all go through these times/phases.

Anonymous said...

We are all on the same boat. I had the same reflections in my 20s', not knowing where to go, lost most most of the time and keep wandering.
I'm in my 30s' and I don't know more, I just stopped asking myself these questions, enjoying each step.
The light will shine at some stage, you'll find the exit door. Keep faith in Life!

Alyssa said...

Sometimes I'm glad I don't feel alone in this, but then it makes me sad because I know how it feels and I would never want anyone to feel that way. I'm also struggling to find that goal to work towards. I'm positive that eventually you'll find it. You can do it!

Vic said...

dahhhling...sometimes we have to get that taste of crap before the days look brighter and i'm certainly positive that you are going places:) love you! xo

April said...

I think that sometimes we have to do shit that we don't like to help us shape what we DO want to do. Job hop while you're young and can explain it that way.

I'm trying to take this philosophy too, and soak up what I can from one job then go to the next without getting stuck til I find the thing that makes me jump out of bed each morning.