I'm feeling down.

Down like a bird that can't fly.

Down like a fallen dish, shattered on the floor.

Down like... something that's not up. (I'm out of metaphors.)

There are a few reasons why this is...

1. I think it's finally sinking in that my Grandma is gone and that she's really not going to be there the next time I go to her house. Anytime I think about Thanksgiving, or Christmas Eve, it really hurts. She was the center of both of those holidays and traditions, and change scares me. I miss my grandma.

2. I'm unemployed again. When I started my job, I knew that it might only be temporary. I was taking the place of a 70 year old woman who had broken her arm and had a myriad of other health problems. But they wanted her back when she was better if her doctor gave her the okay. She wasn't supposed to be back until November. When I showed up for work on Wednesday, she was there. Two weeks early. She and my coworker were shocked that no one had called me. I went down to my bosses office trying not to cry. 

3. I had to take down my green screen out of the spare bedroom. And I have no idea where I can put it now when I make my next book review. But that's kind of minor. I'm just a little bummed.

4. National Novel Writing Month starts in 9 days. While I think I've got a pretty good idea of what I'm doing, I'm a little bit terrified.

5. I just want someone to hold me.

Enough of me whining. Here are some happy things too.

1. It's raining and smells wonderful. The sun is shining through the clouds and the wet, colorful leaves look beautiful.

2. I'm about to play (and maybe finish) Zelda: Ocarina of Time. That's awesome!

3. I've started making my Halloween costume! It's poofy!

Things aren't so bad. I've got a good life and things to keep me busy.

Because: 

I got to sleep in.

I got to play Zelda with Kevin. So much fun!

And we got past the Water Temple! I hate that place!

I have the rest of the afternoon to read blogs and my book. 

AND

Congrats Kayley! You are the winner of CharaNavi! 

You have until next Saturday to get me your information or I'll pick another winner!

Your cuddle buddy.

Life is random. I can never predict what I'm going to be doing a day in advance, let alone a month, a year, a lifetime. 

Right now I am just trying to live one day at a time.

Today? It hasn't gone according to plan. But, I can't really complain. 

Yesterday I slept for 16.5 hours. Today I slept for four. I'm a little sleepy, but I think it's mostly because I'm doing tedious things. 

I had planned on sleeping much longer. A full 8 hours was the hope. Instead I opened my eyes at four in the morning and started my day. 

I started some laundry that has started piling up around my room. I decided that while I waited, I would get on my desktop computer and edit a few photos that I took. Without even opening Photoshop, I went to work trying to make it run better and faster. Now, 6 hours later, it is being upgrades to Windows 7. I've been procrastinating the change because I didn't want to move all of my junk and then reinstall my favorite programs. I know that it will make my computer run so much faster, so a little bit of extra effort is going to be worth it.

The plan for the rest of the day? Probably going to change as the day goes on. But for now:

Sounds like a full load. 

Ooh! Upgrade is completed! Thanks Blog for distracting me so nicely! 

By the way, here are four photos I'm looking forward to editing in crazy ways. Changing hair color, putting me in crazy places, anything that I can manage in Photoshop. So stay tuned. I'll post these four photos once they have been edited. 

If you have any ideas for edits, let me know. I'm always looking for great new ideas. (Also, I must love you guys if I let you see raw images of myself. Mwah!)