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Sunday, May 2, 2010

I guess it's gonna have to hurt...

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." 

I hope this is the case... because right now I feel like I just ripped out my heart and threw it into a meat grinder. It hurts. So much.

Right now I'm having a hard time picturing how things will get better. I mean... my heart looks like ground beef! How can I recover from that? 

I ended a relationship with someone I really and honestly loved because I knew that's what my Heavenly Father wanted and expected of me. I know I'm doing the right thing. I know I am. But why does the right thing have to hurt this badly? 

I've been replaying this song in my head all morning. I told him two hours ago... and I know it's soon, and it's hurting... but it will get better, with time. It has to. 

I have a list of things I want, the things in my Patriarchal Blessing. "These blessings are predicated on your faithfulness and your desire to receive them." I have the desire. I want those blessings more than anything in this life. Now I just need to work on my faithfulness. But I took that first step, and I have to believe that if I keep moving in the right direction, things will work out for my good. 

... but I'm sure going to miss him.

5 Thoughts:

hope denzer said...

I'm sorry Kate I love you.

siovhan said...

it happens, love.
you'll make it through. and then some day you'll look back and see how far you've made it and be so proud of yourself. :)

Lexa said...

Breakups always suck, but you will get through this. All of us are here for you too!

Single Ladies said...

I hear ya girlfriend.
Check out our newest post!!!

Anonymous said...

Breakups suck; I've been through several.

Interesting that you linked Carrie; that song was the first thing I thought of.