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- ► 2011 (174)
- ▼ May (7)
Sunday, May 2, 2010
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
I hope this is the case... because right now I feel like I just ripped out my heart and threw it into a meat grinder. It hurts. So much.
Right now I'm having a hard time picturing how things will get better. I mean... my heart looks like ground beef! How can I recover from that?
I ended a relationship with someone I really and honestly loved because I knew that's what my Heavenly Father wanted and expected of me. I know I'm doing the right thing. I know I am. But why does the right thing have to hurt this badly?
I've been replaying this song in my head all morning. I told him two hours ago... and I know it's soon, and it's hurting... but it will get better, with time. It has to.
I have a list of things I want, the things in my Patriarchal Blessing. "These blessings are predicated on your faithfulness and your desire to receive them." I have the desire. I want those blessings more than anything in this life. Now I just need to work on my faithfulness. But I took that first step, and I have to believe that if I keep moving in the right direction, things will work out for my good.
... but I'm sure going to miss him.