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Sunday, March 20, 2011

Best Of Sunday 3

This week I thought I would repost one of my all time favorite posts.

Where I open up and talk about my dislike of spiders and irrational fear of dirigibles.

Yes. I am scared of zeppelins. 

They terrify me.

If you don't understand what I mean, go to YouTube and search "Hindenburg Disaster." I would link you, but I'm not that brave.

And now for the post:

So I'm sure you've all heard the phrase "Spiders are more afraid of you than you are of them" as told by parents who hope that their children will not grow up to be arachnophobes like themselves. But somewhere along the line, a spider dangles from a web right in our faces, and we FREAK out because the thing has FAR too many legs. So spiders are more afraid of us? I know this NOT to be true.

 Last summer, in the wee hours of the morning before going to bed, I decided to 'tidy' up my room a bit. I lifted an object that needed putting away from my floor, when a very large spider scurried over my fingertips, and under a napkin that was strewn on my floor. I squealed and grabbed a shoe, pounding the napkin to a pulp! I then flipped the shredded paper with a pen, and there it was. A spider laying in the fetal position, legs in the air. My napkin was in tatters, so I didn't have anything to pick it up and throw it away with, so I left it there until further notice.

I went about cleaning up my room. And because I'm paranoid, I'd continuously peek over to were the spider carcass lay. Still there. All is well. But on my fifth glance. Wait, what?! Where? Where is it?! Ew! Get of the floor, get off the floor!!

A few hours later, I finally decided that I should sleep, justifying to myself that a severely mangled spider was nothing to worry about. He'd probably crawled off somewhere to die, right? So I went to bed without a worry. Yet the next morning I woke and noticed this small insistant itch on the top of my right foot. I had a spider bite! Are you kidding me? That spider had it in for me. He waited in the shadows until I was asleep and he could sink his teeth into me. Low blow spider, getting a girl while she's sleeping. 

Over the course of the next two months, the spiders were out to get me. I'd see nearly five a day, most of the time in my room. I came to the conclusion that I had killed these spider's mother and they wanted revenge. The only thing is...they were all different species of spider. That's when I realized: I had killed the Angelina Jolie of Spiders. She had an overabundance of children and they were as diverse as could be.

I hate spiders.

But spiders are generally detestable. People don't judge you for hating spiders, because most everyone you meet hates them with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns, just as you do.

People judge you a bit when you tell them you are afraid of dirigibles. You know, those large blimp like things? Zeppelins, airships, whatever you want to call them. They used to fascinate me, but somewhere in my life I developed an irrational fear of the things.

I think on some level I've always been a little terrified by them. When I was little, there was this cheesy anime movie 'Kiki's Delivery Service.' I LOVED that movie. But there is a dirigible crash in that movie, and the giant floating thing above the city always gave me chills. It's just kind of escalated from there.

I'm very glad we live in an age where these things don't fly around anymore. However, they seem to be a popular trend in movies lately. Tonight after class we watched the movie 'UP!' Adorable movie. I have no idea how it ends. Why is that? Because the villain flies around in a dirigible! (Very fitting. He was the most terrifying villain I've seen because of his choice of aircraft.) I tried not to make a big deal out of it, I would simply not watch the screen. Wow, the looks I was getting from people. I don't know WHY my mind is repulsed by the blasted things, it just is! What happened to the concept of not judging people? "Judge not lest ye be judged!" C'mon people! We're in a church class! At least pretend you understand that principle of the religion. I left the room and didn't finish the movie.

It's an irrational fear. I don't understand it. If I did, I would try to explain. I actually quite like this strange quirk in myself. I find it quite funny! However when you are trying to flirt and look adorable, people staring at you like you are a mad woman with a big ol' zit on your forehead doesn't make you feel too flirty.

So, if for any reason I ask to move from a restaurant booth (there was a picture of a dirigible hanging on the wall once) or change the channel quickly, or merely start screaming for no apparent's probably something to do with a gigantic, helium filled thing.

3 Thoughts:

Anonymous said...

Wow that is quite an amusing phobia you have there! Of dirigibles, I mean, spiders are fairly standard nowadays. Hell I didn't even know they were called dirigibles til i read this!

I don't think i'm afraid of anything in particular, though insects creep me out a bit, I have no problem of squishing them and throwing them away. May be I just haven't found something which really frightens me yet. I try to conquer any fears I have of things by dealing with them, whether that is heights, spiders or enclosed spaces.

Anonymous said...

That's fucking funny about the spider.

Bri said...

Kiki's Delivery Service is one of my all-time FAVORITE movies!! How did you know?? ;)