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Friday, October 22, 2010


I'm feeling down.

Down like a bird that can't fly.

Down like a fallen dish, shattered on the floor.

Down like... something that's not up. (I'm out of metaphors.)

There are a few reasons why this is...

1. I think it's finally sinking in that my Grandma is gone and that she's really not going to be there the next time I go to her house. Anytime I think about Thanksgiving, or Christmas Eve, it really hurts. She was the center of both of those holidays and traditions, and change scares me. I miss my grandma.

2. I'm unemployed again. When I started my job, I knew that it might only be temporary. I was taking the place of a 70 year old woman who had broken her arm and had a myriad of other health problems. But they wanted her back when she was better if her doctor gave her the okay. She wasn't supposed to be back until November. When I showed up for work on Wednesday, she was there. Two weeks early. She and my coworker were shocked that no one had called me. I went down to my bosses office trying not to cry. 

3. I had to take down my green screen out of the spare bedroom. And I have no idea where I can put it now when I make my next book review. But that's kind of minor. I'm just a little bummed.

4. National Novel Writing Month starts in 9 days. While I think I've got a pretty good idea of what I'm doing, I'm a little bit terrified.

5. I just want someone to hold me.

Enough of me whining. Here are some happy things too.

1. It's raining and smells wonderful. The sun is shining through the clouds and the wet, colorful leaves look beautiful.

2. I'm about to play (and maybe finish) Zelda: Ocarina of Time. That's awesome!

3. I've started making my Halloween costume! It's poofy!

Things aren't so bad. I've got a good life and things to keep me busy.

12 Thoughts:

Alycia (Crowley Party) said...

:) can't wait to see your Halloween costume!

Plum said...

My husband has been so much less enthusiastic about the holidays since his grandparents became to enfeebled to keep up with the traditions. They're still around, at least, but it is depressing when you get to the point in your life where your grandparents aren't the center of everything.

I guess this is the point where we're supposed to start looking forward to making our own traditions, and our parents being the grandparents. But I don't wanna!

And that really stinks about your job. No notice at all is really just plain rude.

But all of your happy things are great happy things! I love this weather, gaming (I'm playing through Fable II right now, myself), and Halloween.

Andnowlights said...

Hugs all around! I'm sorry you're having a yuck week! It'll get better, it usually does. I have a joke for you!

What sits outside and has an Irish accept?

Patty O'Furniture.

Wah wah. Hope that made you feel better!


Kate try to remain positive. I'm in the job hunting game as well and I too go through an emotional roller coaster. It's good to be around loved ones during tough times. I know.

Lijington said...

I like that you found some things to be happy about even though they're not still looked at the brighter side of things..instead of taking the obvious route and wallow in your miseries...if only more people did that...I would express my sympathies but in all reality they don't fix anything....I do understand your sorrows not that cold hearted :P....but I do extend an energy of good fortune towards you and you may be ableto add to your happy list

theTsaritsa said...

I'm sorry to hear you're out of a job again-- we're in the same boat. Keep your chin up, though!

I'm also scared about NaNoWriMo, but hopefully we can face our fears and write write write!

Framed said...

That's a beautiful photo. Add that to your happy things. I'm feeling down as well, wish I could express it as well as you do.

Paige said...

im so sorry about your grandma.

Jas said...

Nooo, not unemployed again! Try getting in with a temp agency. Or try to find work in places you wouldn't normally think of first. That's how I once got a teaching gig at a natural history museum.

You'll make it! I believe.

cailen ascher said...

i love the smell of the rain too : )

seotrollverse said...

sooo cute!

Anonymous said...

You looks pretty in that picture, if sad.

And that really sucks about the job.